Friday, August 6, 2010

Terrible Two's?

When i first heard of this term, i was quite fascinated.
Wikipedia describes it as a child developmental stage which normally occurs around the age of two to three and consists of toddlers often saying no and throwing temper tantrums.

Now that my little one is two, coming to three, i'm no longer fascinated with the term, perplexed is more like it.

It takes loads, and i means TONNES of patience and love to nurture AND discipline a child, to bring him up in the way he should go.
I do not like raising my voice or disciplining in public but that doesn't mean i don't reprimand or discipline.
I believe in the phrase, "spare the rod & spoil the child" but only if i do it out of love and not out of anger.
I resort to the rod only to teach luke that bad behavior does results in punishment and for him to learn even at a tender age, that our actions does bring about consequences.

Some say i'm too soft. Others say i'm just taking it too seriously, saying they'll just grow out of it.

There are many books on the shelves on topics on disciplining a child. Different school of thoughts, various techniques but i come to understand that with scouring knowledge on this topic, i seriously need to invest the same amount in prayer, if not more.
I simply can't do it on my own... i may have all the best intentions and knowledge BUT without prayer and wisdom, all my efforts are in vain.

Lately, i've been using a different approach.
Instead of raising my voice or threatening him eg "if you play with the tap again and get yourself wet, you'll get the cane", i make him look me in the eye and speak with a stern voice and take time to explain that if he continues to disobey, punishment awaits him and somehow when he seriously looks me in the eye, you kinda see that he knows mommy is not playing a fool (or perhaps he's mighty afraid that if he looks any longer, mommy's eyes will pop out from the socket!!)

It's not merely providing them with the basics or education but it's our desire to instill godly values to our little ones but if we can't even tackle the fundamentals, how do we even dare hope for bigger things for our precious children?

Even when Luke was in my womb, we've begun praying that he'll grow up to be a man after God's heart, being a blessing to the the people around him ... apart from all the other virtues.
But honestly sometimes when we look at the present, we seriously think we've got a LONG, LONG way to go.
There are days when i think i'm seriously not cut out to be a mom!

Meanwhile....Daddy's been wonderful... while i was recuperating from the bout of fever & cough, he's been taking the little one out for night cycling.. when luke's back, he's like an angel... on his best behavior, made no fuss & went off to bed promptly. As opposed to other days when he doesn't get his dose of the outdoors, he's more likely to be cranky, or asking for attention, or just being difficult.
I'm really beginning to be convinced that little boys have this boundless energy that NEEDS to be released, and the outdoors is one of the avenues for them to do so ;) Sometimes, we just need to be more sensitive to their needs.

Luke came back and saw me in bed yesterday and he asked "Mommy, what's wrong?"
"Mommy's not feeling well" i replied, and immediately he clasped his hands, and whispered a prayer.. i couldn't make out the whole few short sentences... but i did hear, "let mommy be well, God.. take away the fever...amen"... and he ended with saying, "Drink your medicine and drink lots of water, k?" in a very serious manner.
I was utterly amazed and it sure did melt my heart.

In days like these, in the midst of feeling like you've been a parenting failure, i thank God for precious moments like these... for reminding us that in the midst of our parenting struggles, God is indeed having His hands in our childrens' lives, moulding them bit by bit... transforming their imperfections into something good... in His marvelous time :)

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